I mean, a broiler pan wants to be somewhere between a grill and a pan. A pan, I know how to clean – soak, then scrub. If it’s one of our wonderful stainless-lined copper pans, I can scrub it with steel wool. That makes clean. Success! If it’s a grill, then I get it as hot as possible and scrape at it with a steel brush. Again, success! But a broiler pan everyone seems to try to clean with a sponge. This non-nonstick surface gains texture after just a few uses, and no sponge is getting that off. Know what that texture is? Charred food! Carbon cake. Ewwww. And you’re supposed to just keep cooking on it. That’s beyond unpleasant.

So, yeah, I’d totally go for disposable broiler pans. Use ‘em, toss ‘em. Maybe if I got a bit too energetic I could come up with a dwelling design that incorporated used broiler pans. But until then, I say gather them up and launch them into the sun. Or make up your mind and use either the grill or a pan.

a) washes them
b) cleanses them, trying yet again to clean marks that have been there through several washings
c) essentially sterilizes them
d) scrubs them as though they’ve come in contact with something capable of ending human existence

What’s your guess? Hint: I am not fast at doing the dishes.

“Dragon, the Magic Puffer Fish”

Dragon, the magic puffer fish
Swam in the sea
And stunned his friends
With neurotoxins
Until he became sushi

Oh yeah, these’ll be big…

We were watching the tribute to The Who on Sunday morning. Pearl Jam was playing “Love, Reign o’er Me,” which prompted Dani to grab her ukulele. Apparently moved by the whole British Invasion thing that was happening on screen, she started playing with her teeth. Nice tip of the hat to Hendrix (who, yes, was American but was playing and living in the UK and by most accounts is included as part of the whole British Invasion phenomenon).

One of Dani’s favorites is Ten Apples Up On Top, and I’m convinced it’s an allegory for nuclear proliferation and the concept of mutually-assured destruction as a way to create peace. A bit about the story:

A dog, a lion, and a tiger are showing off to one another about who can stack the most apples on top of his head. They also demonstrate that they can do other things (hop, roller skate, dance) while balancing the apples. The three of them end up in the house of a bear and start taking apples from the bear’s refrigerator (and drinking the bear’s milk, just to demonstrate that they can do it while keeping the apples balanced). The bear chases them outside and vows to make the apples fall. Once outside, with the bear still chasing the animals, birds come along and try to eat the balanced apples off of their heads. More bears and birds join the chase until everyone runs into an apple cart, sending apples everywhere. At the end, in the wreckage of the apple cart, everyone has ten apples on their heads. The lead bear, happy with the outcome, says “Look! Ten apples on us all! What fun! We will not let them fall.”

The characters, the pacing of the buildup, and the balanced outcome all spell nuclear arms race to me:

• The apples, obviously, are nuclear arms
• Who gets them first? The lion (Brittain), the dog (U.S.) and the tiger (India)
• Who wants them? The bear (USSR) and the bird (Japan?)
• When everyone finally has the same number of apples, even though things are a mess, everyone looks most peaceful

Granted, you might think I’m stretching here. But after a bit of research I’m not so sure. Theodore Geisel won an Academy Award for a film he made examining Japan’s culture before WWII, and it looks as though many of his books were modern-day fables dealing with consumerism, fascism, and, yes, the arms race.

If you haven’t read some Dr. Seuss in a while, take a look.

But then, I started reading an article that stated that the delay was a victory for the new administration. What? Reading further, I learned that the organization responsible for handing out the coupons for the digital converter boxes had run out of money. The Obama Administration asked Congress to delay in hopes that funds from a stimulus package would flow to that initiative. Apparently 3.3 Million American households are on a waiting list for these coupons. Further, the organizations that purchased the soon-to-be-available frequencies said that the one-time delay will not hurt their plans. And, lastly, the delay is voluntary, and many broadcasters plan to go ahead with the switch-off as planned.

Reading that, I felt informed. I also, surprisingly, thought that a rational decision had been made. That backed me all the way off the cliff, from snarky to merely shruggy (meh, I say).

Nice job to the new administration. It’s been so rare in the past eight years that I’ve actually felt better after learning more about legislation.

My car looks like a cylon

One of the ways I celebrated my brief unemployed stint was to buy a new car. Probably not the wisest choice while unemployed, I realize, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. And it has turned out to be a great move, I love my car. It’s a Scion XD, and I tricked it out with all the accessories that I wanted: navigation system + premium audio system, under-dash and cupholder lights, LED taillights, in-door-jamb lights, two-tone leather interior, sport pedals… I had fun. But, of course, one of the things that most excited me was finally having a dedicated iPod connection.

The Scion system’s integration with the iPod is impressive. The entire touch screen of the navigation system transforms into a powerful iPod interface. You can access and peruse artists, albums, genres, playlists – fully navigate the music on the iPod.

And then you start to move. And this ability goes away.

Well, sort of. The window to all of the info is the “Music Menu” button at the top of the virtual scroll wheel. Get the car moving and it gets disabled. For weeks I thought that this was a bug, that somehow the stupid stereo was “dropping” the connection to the iPod. No such luck, it’s intentional. Sure, I can still view the track list of the album or playlist that I’d selected before I started moving, but I can’t pull up the lists to switch artists, albums, or playlists.

I get why they’d do this, but I must admit it’s a pain in the ass. I guess I’m going to start creating “drive-time” playlists that I really like and just hitting “go” before I leave my driveway. If anyone knows how to disable this safe and oh-so-annoying feature, let me know.

Aside from that, I love, love, love the car. And my new job. And living in the city with Jenni and Dani. Life’s pretty good, actually.

Siouxsie and the Banshees were one of my favorite bands when I was a young goth in Colorado (oh, who am I kidding with the “were,” I’m listening to them right now – they’re wonderful). If you don’t know the tumultuous history of the band, they started off as groupies for the Sex Pistols, borrowed instruments from friends and jammed on stage for minutes on end, and finally realized they could make a go of music. The core of the band was the drummer (Budgie, later to be Siouxsie’s husband), the bassist (Steven Severin), and Siouxsie. Then there were the guitarists. They just couldn’t keep them. It’s not that any of them were untalented (each of them was), and it’s not necessarily that the band wasn’t quality. It was probably the personalities – those who have seen Siouxsie on stage know what a diva she is, and Severin is an acknowledgede egomaniac. The chemistry worked for the three core members to some workable degree, but they churned through guitarists. The churning got so bad that once they lost a guitarist mid-tour. Robert Smith stepped in and finished the tour with them, and then a while later went into the studio with them and recorded Hyeana. Good album, and Smith’s temperament might have been a great fit, but you can still feel that tension between Smith’s vision and Siouxsie/Severin’s style.

And so it went with me. I was the latest guitarist to Zynga’s Siouxsie and the Banshees. The Zynga band is not necessarily a bad group play and work with, but they’re definitely not right for me. It was a culture clash from day one, though I can say with confidence that I jumped in and earnestly tried to make it work. But I didn’t end up doing things they way they wanted me to, nor could I do things the way I wanted to. Classic “creative differences,” as they say in the business of media. And, so, I did the thing that I thought was right – I helped put together a team that *did* do things the Zynga way and handed it off. And, like one of Siouxsie’s guitarists, I set my sights on the next gig.

Here’s hoping I’m Robert Smith and not one of those other guys of whom you’ve never heard.